This is the story of how I made and lost a best friend within one month.

Where to start with Rafael?

He was one of the first people I started talking to when I became poly, and we talked a lot. We talked for hours and hours over the course of about a month, but we never met in person. We were mutually attracted to each other, and had amazing chemistry over text.

The reason we never met in person was that he was busy and getting ready to go on a long trip right when we met. When he left for his trip is when everything really stopped between us. He was busy with family and work, and then something happened with him emotionally (nothing to do with me) and he needed to take some time to work through it. As far as I know, that’s what he’s still doing.

When we were getting to know each other, we had really deep and meaningful conversations from the start. We also had a lot of jokes between us, and we went so far as to make up cute little nicknames for each other. We talked about sex and love and so many other things. I connected with him very well, and felt that we were building a really good friendship foundation, which I had hoped would potentially turn into a powerful romance when we finally did meet—which had always been the plan.

Unfortunately, because of the circumstances, it didn’t work out that way. While “best friend” might be a strong term to use, that’s really what it was beginning to feel like before everything stopped. When Jonah broke my heart, Rafael was the person I was most hopeful for to mend it.

Since we stopped talking, I have moved on and at this point, I’ve become poly-saturated. That means I wouldn’t have room for him in my life right now as anything more than a friend with benefits, and even then, I would have to stop seeing someone else in order to accomplish that. (Which, for the record, is beginning to seem likely with two of my four current FWBs; but, four isn’t my ideal number necessarily, it’s just the number I have. Less would honestly probably be better!)

If Rafael ever reaches out again, ready to reconnect, I’m basically open to that and ready to see where it leads us. But, realistically, I don’t see that happening, and that’s okay too. I have good memories of that month where we spent so much time talking, and I feel glad that I got to know him for that short period of time, if nothing else.   

So that is the very short story of Rafael, the best friend who I made and lost all within one month.