Are We Out of the Woods Yet?

As of yesterday, Romeo and I have been together for seven months and cohabitating for one. We’ve seen each other every day and spent every night together for over two months. I can confidently say that our NRE or “new relationship energy” stage is over and we’ve settled into our new normal together.

I’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster over the past month or so, though. I suppose the process of two people jumping into a new serious relationship straight out of both ending marriages, while also both managing already precarious mental health… that’s a journey bound to have some bumps in the road.

Things got a little rocky when we moved in together. By “rocky,” I don’t mean that we started fighting frequently or aggressively or anything. We’ve had a total of 3-4 fights (depending on how you define a “fight,”) throughout our relationship, all within the last month. When we’ve fought, there’s never been yelling or name-calling or door-slamming. There have been tears, confusion, hurt, and disagreements. There have been honest but scary thoughts and feelings shared. And there have been conversations and cuddling on the couch while we work through things. All of our fights have been resolved with honest and open conversations. And after all of them, we’ve reaffirmed of our love and commitment to each other.

But, that being said, there have also been some unhealthy dynamics. While I won’t get into the details here out of respect for Romeo’s privacy, I will say that it has been emotionally traumatizing for me at times. It’s negatively affected my mental health and caused me a lot of pain. It got to the point where I had to seriously consider leaving the relationship, and that alone has caused me extreme emotional distress. I’ve struggled with a fear of Romeo leaving me, and some of the unhealthy dynamics of our fights have exacerbated that fear at times. Despite the fact that he has said many, many times that he will not leave me, my empathic nature and people-pleasing and overthinking tendencies cause me to question and doubt.

Fortunately, we have talked through the things that we needed to and we seem to be in a much better place now. I know that our relationship will never be perfect, because no relationship is, but I do believe that it can be healthy and happy for both of us. I have a lot of hope that we will be able to make it for the long haul, and that’s what I want the most.

Despite the challenges we’ve been through, I am madly in love with Romeo and he is just as madly in love with me. We think the world of each other. We value and care for each other deeply, and want to spend the rest of our lives together. We want this to last, and are willing to do the work needed for that to happen.

Over the past week, I feel like we’ve made it out of the woods. There was a shift that I saw and felt in him. During our “dark period,” I felt a very noticeable disconnection from him on a heart-level. Now, I feel like he’s come back to me and our hearts have reestablished that bond. I am so ready to move past these things that were so painful for us to go through. I feel very hopeful, and beyond happy to have my Romeo back.