{"id":194,"date":"2025-01-30T21:45:19","date_gmt":"2025-01-30T21:45:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/abundantandfree.love\/?p=194"},"modified":"2025-01-30T21:54:19","modified_gmt":"2025-01-30T21:54:19","slug":"this-is-a-story-about-moving-right-along","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/abundantandfree.love\/index.php\/2025\/01\/30\/this-is-a-story-about-moving-right-along\/","title":{"rendered":"This is a story about moving right along."},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I was right about Jamey, let\u2019s just start with that. We\u2019re done. He was full of shit. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact\u2026 yes, I think he just might be worthy of being the featured Bottom of the Barrel connection for this post! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The last thing I wrote about Jamey was that our sexual encounter was a bit disappointing for me, and I felt him emotionally distancing himself immediately after. When I asked for reassurance the next day, he wouldn\u2019t give me that. Later that day, we had a conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But why tell you when you can just read it for yourself? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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He said that he needed to think about how he truly felt. Well, the next day, we chatted a bit and then he ended up telling me that the events from the previous day (my insecure feelings, presumably) were a turn off for him. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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I didn\u2019t want to argue with him about whether or not he was emotionally distant. The point was, I asked for reassurance and he wouldn\u2019t give me that. I told him how that was affecting me, but that I didn\u2019t need to get into it, and he thanked me for not burdening him with my feelings. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the end, he felt that an 8\/10 emotional connection shouldn\u2019t include helping me feel better when I\u2019m feeling sad or insecure. To him, being inside me<\/em> wasn\u2019t intimate enough to warrant this level of emotions, which he found to be too heavy, too soon. And I wholeheartedly disagree. The great irony in all of this is that he proved me right. He fucked me and then threw me away, which is exactly what I was afraid was happening, and why I was looking for reassurance.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So anyway. Jamey, kindly go fuck yourself because you shouldn\u2019t be fucking anyone else, that\u2019s for damn sure. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although I was clearly feeling very broken after those events, as is reflected in my last post, I feel a lot better now. Romeo and Gerry are the main reasons for that, followed closely by Gerry\u2019s wife Nadine and my best friend Benny. They surrounded me with comfort and love. They were angry on my behalf, and told me that Jamey was human garbage and that he couldn\u2019t handle my magic. They made me feel like I wasn\u2019t the crazy, needy girl that Jamey made me worry I was. They validated my feelings, and that made all the difference. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And now, of course, I\u2019m back at it. The hunt continues. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I love that I feel so secure in my polycule as it stands right now. Jace and Kiley, Gerry, and Nadine are people I feel confident with. I\u2019m not afraid that they\u2019re going to abandon me. I feel the love from them, and that is an amazing feeling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are also the irregulars, who may or may not continue to be in our lives (Richard, Wilbur, and Dakota). Although to be honest, I would take one night with Dakota a year if that\u2019s all he could manage! \ud83e\udd23That boy is fine<\/em>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I truly just feel that I need one more consistent connection. Something that can be more fiery, to put it simply. My current partners make me feel loved and attractive, and I feel the same about them. But I don\u2019t feel an absolute fire in my belly when I think about them. I feel warmth and love and gratitude that they are in my life; and yes, desire too!  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t like comparing people. I believe that in poly especially, comparison can be very damaging. Each relationship stands on its own, independent of the others. How I feel with one partner isn\u2019t ever going to be the same as how I feel with another, and one is not better than another. They are all unique and special to me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

That being said, I sometimes feel like I need to defend my reasons for wanting another partner. Maybe we can simplify it and just say this: I am very, very poly. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my current round of fishing, as I sometimes jokingly call it, I have pulled in quite a few fish. Please understand that I\u2019m not trying to dehumanize these guys; they are real people and I don\u2019t see them as anything less. But, there are a lot of them, and I am trying to choose the best match for myself (and Romeo) of course.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have found that my standards are increasing since the debacle with Jamey, and the string of guys before him. I no longer respond to messages that don\u2019t include the special phrase that I\u2019ve put in my profile. I shut shit down immediately if I feel the slightest bit \u201coff\u201d about their vibe. I have much higher barriers to entry (pun intended) for taking relationships to the next level. I\u2019m hoping that these measures will prevent me from having my heart broken again. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Currently, I am talking to four men who I consider likely candidates for joining our polycule, including Kameron and Jonas. Kameron\u2019s more of a slow-burn, firm foundation type of guy, and I appreciate that about him. Jonas is great, and we have plans to meet soon, but my main concern is finding out if there\u2019s any chemistry. As for the other two, who are brand new to me, I have decided not to give them pseudonyms until I actually meet them. There\u2019s only so many names I can use before I have to start resorting to things like Jaziel or Dario or Atticus, ya know? (Shoutout to Oliver. If you know you know. \ud83d\ude09)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I feel really good about all of them, actually, but I have learned the hard way to not get excited too quickly. Time will tell what happens with any of them! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of my biggest anxieties is actually that I will have too many good options to choose from and I\u2019ll have to cut off a potential relationship for the sole reason that I don\u2019t have the time or energy to pursue them all. But, that\u2019s probably an overly optimistic concern. Right now, I just want to build something with somebody who checks all of the boxes, and I\u2019m hoping that one<\/em> of these guys will. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I was right about Jamey, let\u2019s just start with that. We\u2019re done. He was full of shit.  In fact\u2026 yes, I think he just might be worthy of being the featured Bottom of the Barrel connection for this post!  The last thing I wrote about Jamey was that our sexual encounter was a bit disappointing… Continue reading This is a story about moving right along.<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-194","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","entry"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/abundantandfree.love\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/194","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/abundantandfree.love\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/abundantandfree.love\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/abundantandfree.love\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/abundantandfree.love\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=194"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/abundantandfree.love\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/194\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":202,"href":"https:\/\/abundantandfree.love\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/194\/revisions\/202"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/abundantandfree.love\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=194"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/abundantandfree.love\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=194"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/abundantandfree.love\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=194"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}