After my recent heartbreak with Truly, I felt like I was going to need to take a break from dating for awhile. I had a lot of processing to do from that relationship, and I was really emotionally exhausted. But there was still a part of my heart whispering to me that I knew what I wanted, and I needed to keep trying to find it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And so I did what I do, and stayed sad for a couple of days before going back on my favorite dating apps. Yes, I was still grieving, and even now I still feel pangs of missing him some days despite knowing beyond the shadow of a doubt that I did the right thing. We did have something beautiful, at least for a little while. But I also know that sometimes, at least for me, the best way to move on from a heartbreak is to get excited about someone new. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As usual, I didn\u2019t stay on the apps for very long because I quickly made several promising connections and didn\u2019t want to get overwhelmed. But there was one particular person whose profile caught my eye in a big way. He is so GODDAMN CUTE it makes me want to explode. More importantly, though, his profile had all the information I needed to know and it seemed glaringly obvious to me that we would make a good match. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
There was only one thing to do, of course. I sent him a rose and a comment making it clear just how excited I was at the prospect of getting to know him. I hoped he would respond, but I tried to put him out of my mind because I know that these things don\u2019t always pan out. But, sure enough, he responded with just as much excitement as me. I just about lost my shit! <\/p>\n\n\n\n
There have been a lot of somewhat unsettling parallels between the start of my new relationship and the way my relationship with Truly started. One of those parallels is that we met in an impromptu way on the same day that we started chatting. That, and the level of intimacy that I dove into so quickly with both of these guys, looked very similar. But then again, having sex on the first date isn\u2019t exactly new for me. It\u2019s just the way of the slut, I suppose. In fact, moving quickly is sort of my thing, if I\u2019m being real. I\u2019ve never been afraid to jump headfirst into love when I feel that matching energy from my partner. And that\u2019s why, only nine days after breaking up with Truly, I had a new boyfriend. He shall be pseudonymed Mica! <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Despite some similarities, the dynamic between my new love and I is nothing like I\u2019ve experienced in the past. Let me tell you a few things about this motherfucking treasure of a human being. He\u2019s a dad, which is huge for me; there\u2019s a level of understanding that comes with having both experienced (and better yet still be experiencing) the process of raising a kiddo. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
He\u2019s also AuDHD (he\u2019s on the autism spectrum and has ADHD), and the more that I get to know myself the more confident I feel that I\u2019m also an AuDHD-er. I don\u2019t have a diagnosis or feel the need to get one, and I\u2019m very upfront about that when I talk to people about it. But nevertheless, I\u2019m discovering new things about my own mind, and it\u2019s been such a comfort to be with someone like Mica, who not only intimately and intuitively understands how my mind works, but also validates the labels that resonate with me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mica is also an animal lover, super smart, goofy like me, and the sweetest man I have ever met. He\u2019s wildly considerate and caring as a partner, and he\u2019s just as obsessed with me as I am with him. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
With Mica, I immediately felt safe in a way I never have before. It first hit me as I was lying on the couch, gazing into the eyes of a man I\u2019d just met and yet instantly trusted. He is so safe– SO SAFE!– for my heart and mind and body and soul. And as easy as it would be to worry that this is just another replay of the Truly episode, I know that it\u2019s nothing like that. Because this? This is different. Mica is like nobody I\u2019ve ever met before.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019ve known Mica for 12 days as of this writing, and I already trust him in a way that I didn\u2019t even realize I was never was able to with Truly. The thing is, I didn\u2019t feel like Truly saw me as his equal. He seemed to adore me, and I loved that, but he also had an energy of superiority underneath his kindness. And he was very kind, that is still true. I don\u2019t believe that anything he did in our relationship was malicious, at all. Yet, I never felt that I could fully let my guard down with him. It was hard to notice because our NRE was stealing the spotlight, but the insecurity was there. I wasn\u2019t insecure about our relationship; I was insecure about what he thought about me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I know how highly Mica thinks of me because of the way he treats me, speaks to me, listens to me, and looks at me. You can bet your ass I give all of those things right back to him, because God knows he deserves to have the shit loved out of him. I\u2019m honored that I get to be the one to do that. Loving him is so incredibly easy to do. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nobody is perfect, and I know that\u2019s true of Mica too. I know that he will hurt me sometimes, and I will hurt him, and we will have conflicts. But I\u2019m not afraid of those things because I know we both feel the same way about each other. We admire and respect each other, and we are absolutely, head-over-heels in love. I know that this love will guide us through any challenging moments in our relationship. This is a never-gonna-be-the-same kind of love; an \u201cI found my person\u201d kind of love; a kind of love that makes all the bullshit that came before it finally make sense, because it led me to him. It\u2019s got me willing to look like a totally pathetic dumbass if I\u2019m wrong again; but I\u2019m not afraid, because I feel it in my bones that I\u2019m right this time. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mica is it<\/em>, guys. He\u2019s as much of \u201cthe one\u201d as I can get while still being poly. And what\u2019s even more crazy is that he feels the same way about me! He isn\u2019t poly himself, but he fully loves, supports, and accepts me exactly as I am, and that includes being polyamorous by nature. He doesn\u2019t want to change me. He just wants to love me. And I really couldn\u2019t ask for anything more. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" After my recent heartbreak with Truly, I felt like I was going to need to take a break from dating for awhile. I had a lot of processing to do from that relationship, and I was really emotionally exhausted. But there was still a part of my heart whispering to me that I knew what… Continue reading This is a story about finally feeling safe.<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-349","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-good-ones","entry"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/abundantandfree.love\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/349","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/abundantandfree.love\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/abundantandfree.love\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/abundantandfree.love\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/abundantandfree.love\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=349"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/abundantandfree.love\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/349\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":350,"href":"https:\/\/abundantandfree.love\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/349\/revisions\/350"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/abundantandfree.love\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=349"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/abundantandfree.love\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=349"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/abundantandfree.love\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=349"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}